didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize