Yo dont text me then not text me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
