I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
