it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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