At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
