i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
