what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize