It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
