I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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