when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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