I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I want to be your penis for a week.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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