i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
