My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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