Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
