oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
im holly from the hills drunk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
