i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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