Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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