If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You dont lie about slip and slides
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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