I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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