i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
