It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
