would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize