we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
