There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
