He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
