i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
her vagine was all disorganized.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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