okay pat passed out under dana's car
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
