Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she woke up with a sticky ear
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
