I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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