My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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