Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
