Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
