I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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