She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize