I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
