we have pet lesbian snakes
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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