have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
