STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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