i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
