if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
