I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
