man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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