Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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