just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
