Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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