I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
