it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's never too late to be topless.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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