the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize