dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i now understand why vodka
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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