He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
