return my video game
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize