She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
