just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
