Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My vagina just clenched in fear
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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