My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
