when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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