3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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