he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
