I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize