my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
