I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We are two peas in an std pod
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
