My nipple is on Facebook.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
