$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
